i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
