so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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