I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
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i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
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I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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