He kissed a someone with a penis
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
