u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
