I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
