I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think we might need a safe word for this...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
