she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
