You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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