I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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