all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
