Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
