thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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