I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
