Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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