He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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