Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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