Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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