some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
