It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
