Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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