Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize