My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
