just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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