haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
