I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
