no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
