Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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