Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i will never coherently bang her
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
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I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
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Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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