what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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