I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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