Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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