Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
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There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
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If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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