Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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