Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
