plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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