when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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