Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
