First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
