They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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