What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
