Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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