I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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