16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize