real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
