Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
