Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
