Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
