Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
