Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
