smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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