Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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