You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
