I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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