Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
