At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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