At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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