is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
